Self-Sufficient

Independent and Self-sufficient 
Those are two words that you could use to define me. 
I've always liked jumping right into new situations
I like to be able to do things myself 
I'm not very good at asking for help 
(even with silly things like opening a can)
When I start things I'm determined to figure them out / finish them
(on my own mind you, I hate it when people tell me the answers to things before I figure it out)
I don't mind doing things for myself
like cooking my own meals, shopping, laundry, working 
in fact I quite enjoy it 
& Being single well that just means I can
be even more independent in my decisions haha

I've been told that being independent
and self-sufficient is a good thing
(whenever people have told me I have those traits I've always taken it as a compliment) 
I've been told those characteristics help you to succeed 
and they are right 
but only in some ways 
You see when it comes to my relationship
with God, my independence and self-sufficiency 
follow right along and that is not a good thing
when I bring those character traits into my 
walk with God then I end up neglecting important truths 
I try to use God as a safety net just in case I need 
a little help on my climb up 
instead of realizing that he is the one pulling me up 
I think I can handle the Christian walk on my own 
I try to "be good" 
to serve others 
to love God 
to share Christ's love with others
to trust God 
to be a good leader 
to read my Bible and pray 
all while trying to juggle the rest of my life
like being a good student
working my jobs with excellence
being a good friend 
caring for those who are hurting and in need 

And you know sometimes I fool myself and I think
"Hey I've got this! Life is going really well" 
I think that I've done a good job and that 
I've been able to overcome a struggle 
and I sit back and think that life is going great
I must be doing a really good job with my life
but then what happens when all of the sudden
a trial or a struggle comes? 
When situations in my life happen that I can't control
someone dies, my friend is sick, school is overwhelming,
conflicts arise, people hurt me, or work isn't going well
Then what happens? 
What do I do? 

Well when wave after wave hits me 
when I come to the end of my rope
when I feel like I can't go on anymore 
when I just want to sit and cry 
that is when I realize that I 
don't have to do it on my own 
I don't have to try and pretend to be 
self-sufficient 
(because lets face it I wasn't really ever self-sufficient)
I'm not meant to try and live life alone 
by my own strength and power 
instead all I have to do is rely solely on God
to rest in his grace, love, mercy and strength
to realize that he is the ONLY one who is 
self-sufficient 

when the feelings of being 
alone and overwhelmed come 
as much as I hate them 
and as much as I fight them 
I want to try to embrace them 
it's for a good reason, because I'm trying 
to do something I was never meant to do
I'm trying to live my life alone and by my own power
and wisdom 
As much as I hate admitting it,  It's something that
I can't do on my own

So instead of trying to do things on my own
like I always do 
I want to try something different 
I want to seek God's strength daily
to ask for his grace and wisdom 
to deal with this crazy journey of life 
to realize that it's okay to be weak and inadequate
and that once I truly realize that I can't do anything 
not even wake up in the morning without God sustaining 
my life (Psalm 3:5)  
then I can finally live a life full of power and grace 
one where I don't have to strive to muster up my 
own might to succeed 
but one where I seek the power of Christ in my 
life and live in the good of his grace! 

I am going to lay down my pride
and self-sufficiency 
and humbly come before Christ 
acknowledging that I cannot do it on my own 
but that it's okay, because I don't have to. 
I have Christ's grace and power in my life! 

I will trade in my self-sufficiency for Christ-sufficiency 

"Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God."  2 Corinthians 3:5

Don't replace God's word

"Absalam stole the hearts of the people of Israel."  2 Samuel 15:6

We need to be careful to guard our hearts and make sure that God is the only one who owns our hearts. It is easy to slowly let other people and books become as important to us as God and the Bible. There are so many amazing christian leaders like John Piper, Francis Chan, Singclair Furgeson, CJ Mahaney, John Piper, Beth Moore, Mark Driscoll etc... the list goes on. These people are a gift from God, and a means of grace, but as awesome as they are we must be careful never to confuse their teachings, doctrines and books with God and his words. I love John Piper and I listen to his messages often and have read many of his books and as helpful and packed full of truth as they are I know that Piper would never want me to confuse his words with God's. We must not let the words of christian leaders become our truth, God's words is the sole basis of truth. These leaders are meant to be catalysts in helping you to think and teaching you, but ultimately they should be pointing you back to God's word and drawing you into the Bible, NEVER replacing it, because once we hold someone's words with the same weight as God's and see them as just as valuable than it is a slippery slope. Listening to God following his word should be of primary importance, not listening to a theologian or learning about their new revelation.Soon that person maybe be the one who is leading your heart instead of God.  just like what happened to the Israelites when Absalom led them astray.

Lyrics....

Worship music is an amazing gift from God to be able to praise him and enjoying listening to the beauty
of the music as the truth penetrates your heart, but we need to be wary of the lyrics. Just because they are "christian" and the song is being played on a Christian radio station doesn't mean that everything in the song is right. I have a habit of just singing along to songs and not even realizing what I'm saying and then all of sudden I stop and am like "whoa is that really what this song is saying?"

That happened to me the other day except this time it was a Christian song and as the chorus was playing it says "I want to believe, Jesus help me believe that I am someone worth dying for."



I was getting all into the song and then I thought about it for a minute and was like wait a minute! This isn't right. Because you see, I'm not someone worth dying for. I am a wrethced sinner who despised and rejected God and rebelled against him. No matter how hard I try even my best deeds are like filthy fags! I'm selfish and prideful, I want everything to be about me and I want to be the ruler of my life. Does this sound like someone worth dying for? You know what? I'm even way worse then I could even imagine (that's pretty bad). The Bible says that we don't even know the sinfulness of our own hearts. that's how bad it is. If that's the case, I am not even close to being someone "worth dying for"! In fact it's the opposite, I should die!

“None is righteous, no, not one; no one understands; no one seeks for God. All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one.” Romans 3:9-12

But you see this is the whole beauty of the gospel. Because we are so sinful and wicked yet Christ still loved us enough to come and save us. You see if I was "good" and Christ saved me, then it wouldn't be so amazing now would it? Because I would have in a sense deserved Christ's sacrifice. and I would have felt like I had earned it through my "goodness", but because we didn't deserve Christ's sacrafice for us in the least bit that's what makes it so astounding! That is what shows you the depth of his love for you, so no you may not have been worth dying for, but that didn't stop God from lavishing his amazing love and undeserved grace on you! Revel in the beauty of the cross today!

Romans 5:7-8 - For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die—but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Expect

Expect...it's a funny little word that I've been thinking a lot about lately and it just keeps coming up. To expect something is to look forward to, to anticipate, to consider something to be probable or certain.

Expect great things of God!

Why is it so hard to expect God to come through and expect him to do awe inspiring amazing things? Maybe it's because we've been taught not to raise our expectations so that we aren't disappointed people have told us to keep our expectations realistic so that we aren't let down. But that's not how it works with God. Our God is SO great, and powerful that it is foolish not to expect Him to come through and do amazing things!

God is in control of everything, which means we will never have to worry about being disappointed! Our God is able to do far more abundantly than we could ever ask or imagine! He wants us to expect great things of Him and he wants to blow us away with is amazingness!

Expect more of God! Expect Him to show you life changing things every day! Wake up ready to listen to what God has to say to you! Ready to experience more of his love and grace!

God is there and ready to reveal himself to you, we just have to be ready to listen and expect God to show us more of himself daily!

Are you ready to take Jesus at his word? He says that if you ask, you will receive. Seek, and you will find. Knock, and the door will be opened. I suspect we expect little things from God. We don’t really expect God to change things. We just expect him to help us cope. We have not because we ask not. We do not believe God will deliver, so we do not give him the chance. I challenge us all to pray expecting God to do amazing, miraculous things—things you can scarcely imagine. God can do it. He will do it!

"Now to him who is able to do immesurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations for ever and ever amen." Ephesians 3:20-21

God First!

Wow sorry for the lack of posting! But life has been crazzzy!

Anyways I just wanted to start off by saying that God is SO good and he knows just what we need!

In case any of you didn't know spending time with God is the most important thing you can do in a day, and should be your top priority. However, with so many things crammed into our schedule (school, volleyball, drama, youth group etc), it can be hard to keep it a priority and set aside time to read God's word and pray. These past two weeks have been quite a challenge for me in having my devotions, I would get home at 8pm have lots AND lots of homework to do and then by the time I finish it all I'm exhausted & go to bed. Then I get up, get ready and go to school and the cycle continues. But last night was different, I still got home around 8pm and started my homework & I said that I was going to go upstairs and have my devotions once I finished up all my homework, but then at 11pm I was tired and I still had to study for my AP test...I sat there a minute and I realized what was happening I have been putting my school before God and that is not okay. I decided to go spend time with God instead of studying and then I just reviewed a little in the morning. Spending time with God was exactly what I needed that night and it helped me SO much! I had been so stressed out because I hadn't been relying on God. But the story doesn't end there? Do you know what happened? I took my AP US test at school and I ended up getting the SAME grade on it as I did my last test that I spent an hour studying for! Do you realize how awesome that is? God was showing me that he will bless me when I put him above everything else and that he is really ALL that I need! Now I'm not saying to ignore your homework and spend all night reading the bible (although that would be nice). But God should always be put first and is always more important than school. It's something that I still struggle with, but I think it is awesome how God has such perfect timing and knows exactly what we need to be encouraged and reminded of!

Sorry for the long story, but hopefully it encouraged you! :)

hopefully more posts will be coming soon & pictures too!

my new verse(s)

Soo the other day I was reading 1 chronicles...and I stumbled upon this little vers:

"Seek the Lord and His Strength.

Seek His presence continually."

-1 Chronicles 16:11

I love this verse cause it sums up, what I need to be doing everyday!

Then I was reading in Psalms a couple weeks later and look what I found:

"Seek the Lord and his strenght.

Seek His presence continually."

-Psalm 105:4

Do you see why I'm so excited? It's the SAME verse :)))) I couldn't believe it! When I found it again that's when I knew I had picked the right verse for this school year! & I like to think that it's extra spiritual since it's in the Bible twice hehe (just kidding) :P but yep...I just thought that it was really neat and really shows how the Bible is so connected! Sometimes I just get so excited about God's word! I love it every time I open God's word i find something new!