"Knocking" - Hosanna Wong

God is knocking on our walls of guilt and shame and he wants us to let him in, he wants to restore
and heal us, will you let him knock down the walls in your life?

"You don't have to put up walls for safety 'I am your protection, I am your satisfaction." There is redemption, there is restoration, no matter why you're hiding if you listen carefully you can hear him knocking.....

Scars

I looked down at my legs the other day and they're not very pretty my legs are full of scars.... But as I started looking at my scars I realized that they each came with stories and memories I looked at my knee and saw a big scar and it reminded me of the states tournament in volleyball how I killed my knee and the band-aid kept falling off cause I was sweating too much haha or the cut on my shin from being a klutz and tripping up stairs... I like my scars because it reminds me of my past and memories that I otherwise might of forgotten... I feel like God does the same thing through the wounds of our hearts, yes he heals us but we still have scars to remind us...to remind us of God's faithfulness, how he never left us and of how he took our brokenness and made us whole and not only are the scars for us to remember but they are also testaments to the world. We don't have everything together, we've been hurt, wounded, gone through pain and struggles but look at how good our God is! He took all of our brokenness and pain and made us whole again! He healed the pain that we thought would never go away, and wrapped us in his healing arms. So next time you look at your scars don't wish them away instead use them as a reminder of all the wonderful things God has done in your life. 

Self-Sufficient

Independent and Self-sufficient 
Those are two words that you could use to define me. 
I've always liked jumping right into new situations
I like to be able to do things myself 
I'm not very good at asking for help 
(even with silly things like opening a can)
When I start things I'm determined to figure them out / finish them
(on my own mind you, I hate it when people tell me the answers to things before I figure it out)
I don't mind doing things for myself
like cooking my own meals, shopping, laundry, working 
in fact I quite enjoy it 
& Being single well that just means I can
be even more independent in my decisions haha

I've been told that being independent
and self-sufficient is a good thing
(whenever people have told me I have those traits I've always taken it as a compliment) 
I've been told those characteristics help you to succeed 
and they are right 
but only in some ways 
You see when it comes to my relationship
with God, my independence and self-sufficiency 
follow right along and that is not a good thing
when I bring those character traits into my 
walk with God then I end up neglecting important truths 
I try to use God as a safety net just in case I need 
a little help on my climb up 
instead of realizing that he is the one pulling me up 
I think I can handle the Christian walk on my own 
I try to "be good" 
to serve others 
to love God 
to share Christ's love with others
to trust God 
to be a good leader 
to read my Bible and pray 
all while trying to juggle the rest of my life
like being a good student
working my jobs with excellence
being a good friend 
caring for those who are hurting and in need 

And you know sometimes I fool myself and I think
"Hey I've got this! Life is going really well" 
I think that I've done a good job and that 
I've been able to overcome a struggle 
and I sit back and think that life is going great
I must be doing a really good job with my life
but then what happens when all of the sudden
a trial or a struggle comes? 
When situations in my life happen that I can't control
someone dies, my friend is sick, school is overwhelming,
conflicts arise, people hurt me, or work isn't going well
Then what happens? 
What do I do? 

Well when wave after wave hits me 
when I come to the end of my rope
when I feel like I can't go on anymore 
when I just want to sit and cry 
that is when I realize that I 
don't have to do it on my own 
I don't have to try and pretend to be 
self-sufficient 
(because lets face it I wasn't really ever self-sufficient)
I'm not meant to try and live life alone 
by my own strength and power 
instead all I have to do is rely solely on God
to rest in his grace, love, mercy and strength
to realize that he is the ONLY one who is 
self-sufficient 

when the feelings of being 
alone and overwhelmed come 
as much as I hate them 
and as much as I fight them 
I want to try to embrace them 
it's for a good reason, because I'm trying 
to do something I was never meant to do
I'm trying to live my life alone and by my own power
and wisdom 
As much as I hate admitting it,  It's something that
I can't do on my own

So instead of trying to do things on my own
like I always do 
I want to try something different 
I want to seek God's strength daily
to ask for his grace and wisdom 
to deal with this crazy journey of life 
to realize that it's okay to be weak and inadequate
and that once I truly realize that I can't do anything 
not even wake up in the morning without God sustaining 
my life (Psalm 3:5)  
then I can finally live a life full of power and grace 
one where I don't have to strive to muster up my 
own might to succeed 
but one where I seek the power of Christ in my 
life and live in the good of his grace! 

I am going to lay down my pride
and self-sufficiency 
and humbly come before Christ 
acknowledging that I cannot do it on my own 
but that it's okay, because I don't have to. 
I have Christ's grace and power in my life! 

I will trade in my self-sufficiency for Christ-sufficiency 

"Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God."  2 Corinthians 3:5


Theme of the Summer

This summer...it's only been a month into my summer, but so far it looks like the theme of my summer is trusting God. Letting go of my plans and desires and following where he leads me. Trusting God that his plan is far better than mine even if I don't understand it. 

 I might have thought that I had the perfect summer outlined and planned in my head and when I would imagine my summer the picture seemed beautifully perfect, until it actually began and nothing seemed to be going right, people close to me were in the hospital, my plans seemed to be shattering around me, I even had to turn down a job that seemed absolutely perfect for me! At one point I just sat on my bed and cried, "I don't understand, what do you want God, what are you trying to tell me? Where are you leading me? Just tell me what's going on!" 


I so desperately wanted to follow God, but I didn't now how when everything seemed to be crumbling apart. I wanted God to guide and lead my summer, but I didn't understand what that meant. I wanted God to just come out and make it obvious what job I was supposed to have, what class to take, where I was going to serve etc. etc. etc. , and I figured if God would just show me his plan for my summer then I can just trust Him completely, but that's not exactly what God had in mind. I realized that if God told me the outcome of everything then I wouldn't actually have to trust him at all. You see it's easy to follow God when it's clear and you know what is going to happen, but it's when life hurts, and is hard, and complicated and you don't understand, that's when trusting God is hard, when there's the possibility of being hurt and let down, but you still have faith and keep following God that's real trust. 

Soo this summer I will chose to trust God, to trust him instead of worry, instead of trying to control things on my own, I will remember who God is and trust my good, sovereign and faithful God! 

Trust Him when dark doubts assail thee,
Trust Him when thy strength is small,
Trust Him when to simply trust Him
Seems the hardest thing of all.
Trust Him, He is ever faithful,
Trust Him, for his will is best,
Trust Him, for the heart of Jesus
Is the only place of rest.  

Trust God



"Welcome challenging times as opportunities to trust me. You have Me beside you and My Spirit within you, so no set of circumstances is too much for you to handle. When the path before you is dotted with difficulties, beware of measuring your strength against those challenges. That calculation is certain to riddle you with anxiety. Without me you will not make it past the first hurdle. The way to walk through demanding days is to grip my hand tightly and stay in close communication with Me. Let your thoughts and spoken words be richly flavored with trust and thankfulness. Regardless of the day's problems, I can keep you in perfect peace as you stay close to me."


Such a perfect reminder from my devotional this morning! Ohh how often I think about the tasks or difficulties in my life and I let myself get overwhelmed and anxious, by it all, but that is because I am not keeping my eyes on Jesus and looking to him for my strength. Yes, life is hard, and yes I am weak, but my God is strong and faithful and good and in control of it all and he will give me the strength to overcome whatever trial or difficulty I am facing no matter how hard or painful it may be. I simply need to stop looking to myself and instead trust my amazing savior who is most definitely worthy of ALL my trust.

"You keep him in perfect peace
    whose mind is stayed on you,
    because he trusts in you."  
       Isaiah 26:3 

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, 
for my power is made perfect in weakness.'
 Therefore I will boast all the more gladly
 about my weaknesses, 
so that Christ’s power may rest on me." 
2 Corinthians 12:9
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