The 13 letter word

Have you ever heard of the 13 letter word? I'll give you a hint, it starts with a "V" ....

Vulnerability- it's a word that makes me cringe
when I hear it I tense up and immediately pull up my shield to block my heart.
I get antsy and immediately want to change the topic
or run out of the room.
But what is it about his word that I fear?
Why does it stir up so many emotions & protective mechanisms?
Why does it make me want to bolt out of the room?

Because vulnerability means trust
vulnerabiltiy means taking off the mask that I've spent my whole life protecting
vulnerability means intimacy
vulnerability means allowing others into my life
vulnerability means the possibility of hurt, rejection and abandoment
It means showing people I'm not the perfect girl I try to be


vulnerability also means being truly known
vulnerability means love
vulnerability means truth
vulnerability means community
vulnerability means openness, freedom
vulnerability means acceptance for you who are and not just your mask

Is it worth it? Is it worth the risk, worth the possible hurt and rejection?
I say an emphatic YES!

Vulnerability means you don't have to feel worn down and wear by putting up a front all of the time, it means leaving behind your feelings of lonliness and embracing being fully and completely known. If i'm honest as much as that thought scares me it also sounds like the most amazing, freeing thing ever!

Putting down my shield of self-protection and letting others in is a risk, it's terrifying and it makes me want to run the other way.
What if we asked God for the courage to be vulnerable, to be truly known for once in our lives and to stop pushing poeple away, but to instead allow ourselves to be loved?

Knowing that my identiy is found in Christ and not being perfect. In Christ, and not in self-protection, in Christ and not in how others view me is what frees me. When I am firm in Christ and my identity as a daughter of God than I can courageously take the risk of letting other in, of inviting them into my heart, letting them be a part of my story and allowing myself to feel God's love through the tangible love and care of others. 

No comments:

Post a Comment

Powered by Blogger.

Recent Comments

Recent Posts