Stars

The promises of God 

are as sure as the stars 

they are constant and true

faithful like the dawn

Yet we are quick to doubt 

and prone to forget

when the storms and winds come 

we wonder if God is really there

But just as the stars shine brightest 

on the darkest nights 

God's promises ring loud and true

even through the storms

Some nights are so full of clouds 

that you may not see the stars

but even when the clouds cover them

you know the stars are still there

They are simply hiding behind the clouds 

waiting for the storm to pass 

and when it does they will emerge

and shine even more brightly

reminding you that they are still there 

and haven't changed

This is the same with God's promises

they may be hidden by the storms of life

 but they are true and real

and he is faithful and unchanging 

So even when it's hard to see 

and hard to feel God's hand 

remember to not be blinded by the storm

that's right in front of you 

but instead look past it and see the stars  

and feel his arms wrap around you as he whispers 

Do not fear, for I will never leave you

or forsake you 

South Asia

I was a normal college student making normal plans for my summer like getting observation hours in and hanging out with friends and family.
But somewhere along the way I realized that my plans for the summer were not God's plan for my summer.
The next thing I know I'm raising support and packing up my things to spend 6 weeks halfway across the world. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined myself spending my summer in South Asia alongside 17 strangers... It's funny how God works sometimes!

We all met up at briefing and quickly these strangers worked their way into my heart and before I knew it they became my family and we bonded in a way that only God could have done.

They supported and encouraged me, they challenged me, and inspired me with their faith, boldness, passion and love for our savior. They pushed me when I wanted to give up and patiently listened when my words were jumbled. Never before had I experienced such an intentional, caring, and selflessly loving community.

The days were long and hot and sometimes seemed like they would never end. Many times I crawled in my bed with the weight of discouragement crushing down on me. This city was broken, dark and full of so much pain and suffering. It felt as if I was helpless to do anything and all my efforts were in vain!
Yet as the weeks went on God reminded me that yes I couldn't fix this city, but that I didn't have to, that wasn't my job! God had called me here to love this city and it's people and to share his amazing grace with those he placed in my path. I didn't have to carry that burden because that was God's! I cannot change hearts or the devastating poverty and injustices that I saw, only God can do that!



But what I did have was his amazing unrelenting love and the message of hope found in the gospel and that was what God was calling me to bring to the city and share with the amazing people he placed in my life! He showed me that if all I did was give one person hope through the gospel that was enough! That's how deeply he loves his children, that he would send people halfway across the world just so that they would know his love!

Through the brokenness I saw first hand the effects of sin and the consequences of choosing our own way over following God. It's heartbreaking to see, but it's even more amazing to know that God has a plan of redeeming and restoring the whole world to himself! That even though we made the brokenness, God made the way of redemption throng the cross and he
is actively restoring everything to himself and that brings so much hope to my heart!

I'm grateful for the friendships I was able to make with students and the ways that I saw God slowly begin to work in their hearts as they heard the truth of who God is and his unconditional love that's not dependent on our works! Barriers were broken down in their hearts, as many of our friends for the first time began to understand who God is and his life changing grace!

I came to South Asia thinking that I was going to come and save the world, but what I didn't realize was that instead God was going to work in my heart in ways that I could never have imagined and work to build my character and make me more like my savior!
Yes, I was able to help with human trafficking, tell students about Jesus for the first time and love on street kids, but they showed me what joy in all circumstances looks like, what it means to be in awe at the idea of forgiveness and grace and what it looks like to have a foundation of faith and hope even when you work  in a place full of darkness and injustice.

So while my summer may not have played out exactly as I had planned I'm kind of glad. I'm grateful to have had the opportunity to be the hands and feet of Jesus, to share the truth of the gospel to those who desperately needed hope, to learn to love radically and selflessly like Jesus and to have my heart wrecked in the best possible way!

Street Kids

Rupees miss, please 

Echoes in your ears

Lingering long after you've passed on 

The gentle tickle of your arm 

Feels ever present even when they're gone

Those big round eyes looking up at you with hopelessness and desperation 

It's too hard to bear to see such pain in a body that should contain such joy  

So ashamedly I look away unable to handle the sadness in their face 

Yet again my heart breaks as it has over and over again 

The more times I witness it the stronger I feel my heart breaking 

I don't think I will ever get used to this particular sight and sound 

And maybe that's a good thing 

I want my heart to hurt with those who hurt even if it's hard 

To see them as valuable no matter how small or poor they are 

To remind myself daily that they are created in the image of God and have so much more worth than they know or have ever been shown 

So while it kills me inside and sometimes I'd rather just pass by 

instead I will do my best to instill love and hope to them to give them a smile, a treat and ask their name 

I want to do what I can to place even just a little bit of worth and value into their dear little lives!

Restoration

This week's theme: God is a God of restoration

Here in South Asia it is so easy to see all of the brokenness and pain and suffering and to feel overcome and overwhelmed by all of it! It is easy to question God and ask him why he allows all of this suffering. But this week God gave me a new perspective.



He showed me that he is a restoring God, that he didn't create all of this brokenness. Instead his creation was good and perfect but we as humans used our free will to sin and rebel against God and to destroy the perfection and beauty of his creation.

God could have just left us there but he didn't he is now actively working to restore all things to himself and he has promised us that he will reconcile everything to himself and create a new heaven and earth where there will be no more pain and suffering but joy forever more!

"For behold I create new heavens and a new earth. The former things shall not be remembered or come to mind....I will rejoice in Jerusalem and be glad in my people; no more shall be heard in it the sound of weeping and the cry of distress, no more shall there be an infant who lives but a few days, or the old man who does not live out his days....They shall not hurt or destroy in all my Holy mountain says The Lord."
Isaiah 65:17-25

Thankful for the hope that this brings in the midst of such suffering! This isn't permanent and one day it will be restored to beauty! 

Vulnerability

“What if there was a place so safe that the worst of me could be known, and I would discover that I would not be loved less, but more in the telling of it”

There is, with God and other believers

I’m not perfect! Being able to say that and being okay with that and knowing that I’m  not a failure, is something that has taken me a long time to grasp, and honestly something that I’m still working on!

Being able to be free and open and say the hard parts of life brings so much joy and freedom!

If we were perfect we wouldn’t need Jesus! That’s the whole reason he came

You can be freely open and honest with God and he wraps you in his arms and no matter what you’re going through, what mistakes you’ve made what you’re struggling with you are forgiven by God! You don’t have to pretend to be perfect anymore

It’s really detrimental that a lot of Christians think that they have to be a model Christian , but once you become a Christian your testimony doesn’t end, there’s still sin and brokenness and struggles, but through it all there is the thread of God’s amazing grace, restoration and redemption  

when we hide from authenticity and vulnerability , we take away from one of the biggest gifts, being able to genuinely care for one another, encourage one another and share your heart with others, your deepest struggles and your heartache the things that you feel like you should hide, but you don’t have to anymore!

God gave us the gift of community for a reason and if we’re not being open and honest with others than we’re not taking advantage of the blessing that God has given us!

When you start being open and honest with others not only will that help you with your own self-righteousness and pride, but that will help to allow you to love others more and you will receive more of God’s grace. Opening up your heart and asking for help and forgiveness, you will receive true encouragement, grace and forgiveness.

One of the things that can happen when everyone else is wearing their masks and pretending to be perfect you sit there and you know that you aren’t and you feel like you don’t measure up, but then you look around you and you feel like everyone else has it all together and that they’ve figured out the  Christian thing and that they have a perfect relationship with God and consistent quiet times  & if you look that and look in your own heart and see how much your broken and struggling it makes you feel like you’re all alone and are the only ones that have these problems. & if that’s the case then  I’m not going to share it with anyone, because no one else will understand. So we make ourselves feel lonely and alone in our struggles, because we’re unwilling to take off our masks and share our real lives with others. Instead we’re pretending and settling for having fake lives with each other when we could be having genuine relationships and community with others and being able to spur one another on to righteousness and encourage each other in the gospel.

Am I pleasing or loving people?

I recently started reading a really awesome book titled: "The Best Yes" I'm only 2 chapters in and it's already amazing!

There's a quote from the first chapter that just really stuck with me:

                 "We must not confuse the command to love with the command to please"

But wait, what's the difference between pleasing and loving?

Pleasing- To cause to feel happy to take their wishes into account when deciding how to act

Love- Unselfish loyalty, and concern for the good of the other


 

        Oftentimes it's easy to think of pleasing people and loving them to be the same thing, however that is not the case. When you truly love someone with Christ's love that is a completely selfless love, one where you desire their good above yours, and you want nothing in return. This is quite different to trying to please people, when you please someone, you want to make them happy, and while there is nothing wrong with wanting to make someone happy the underlying motivation to this can easily become selfishness, you want to do what they want and make them happy, so that you don't ruin a relationship or so that they'll like you more.

            While sometimes pleasing and loving might look the same the motivation behind them are very different, and because of that loving someone allows you to tell people hard and uncomfortable things, it lets you confront them and speak truth into their lives, because when you love someone your ultimate goal isn't to please them or make you happy with them. You're okay with them not liking you at the moment, because your ultimate desire is for their good and to help them to see and love God more!

I pray I that I seek to please people less, and love people more!

"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient bearing with one another in love."
            -Ephesians 4:2

What 2 months with a concussion has taught me.....

After an accident at dance, I ended up with a severe concussion and it has now been 8 weeks and counting with this silly concussion. It's been a rough 8 weeks, but God has really taught me a lot through all of this!


Two of the biggest lessons that God has taught me these past 2 months

 Prayer 
      &
 Being quiet and still 


I am a very busy girl, always doing something, going somewhere with a never ending to-do list. My life is full of lots of noises and too often I do not take the time to rest and refresh, and God has given me this time where all I have been able to do is rest. He has also shown me the importance of being still and quiet before God. When I consistently have the noise of the world surrounding me how do I expect to hear from God. I need to take time to listen for his still small voice and to simply sit and be in his presence. I complain that God doesn't answer me, but in reality I am the one who doesn't take the time to actually listen to Him.

Prayer: I wanted to grow in praying more this year, and because of my concussion I cannot read or have Jesus time, but the one thing I can do is pray. So God has given me so much time just to talk to him and come into his presence with thankfulness as well as requests and just to talk with him as i spent hours laying him my bed.

As hard, challenging and frustrating as this past month has been I am so very grateful for how God has used this to teach me, and bring me closer to himself.

I am grateful for the love and care that I have received from all of my amazing friends, they dropped everything to care for me, and serve me, bring me food, drive me to doctors appointments and tests and have taken notes for me in my classes. I have felt very blessed this past month.

Now, as I slowly recover and being to start therapy sessions, and begin attending classes again. I don't want to forget what I have learned to remember that God is with me to give me strength and patience to male it through the next couple of challenging weeks.

"The only way you will ever run to the Helper is by running away from the delusion of Independence"  ---- grateful that God reminded me that I am not independent that I NEED Him! Because too often I try to be in charge of my life and live like I'm the one who is in control, but in reality I am finite and weak, and thankfully God who is good, gracious and all powerful is the ruler of my life.

God never ceases to amaze me!