I recently started reading a really awesome book titled: "The Best Yes" I'm only 2 chapters in and it's already amazing!
There's a quote from the first chapter that just really stuck with me:
"We must not confuse the command to love with the command to please"
But wait, what's the difference between pleasing and loving?
Pleasing- To cause to feel happy to take their wishes into account when deciding how to act
Love- Unselfish loyalty, and concern for the good of the other
Oftentimes it's easy to think of pleasing people and loving them to be the same thing, however that is not the case. When you truly love someone with Christ's love that is a completely selfless love, one where you desire their good above yours, and you want nothing in return. This is quite different to trying to please people, when you please someone, you want to make them happy, and while there is nothing wrong with wanting to make someone happy the underlying motivation to this can easily become selfishness, you want to do what they want and make them happy, so that you don't ruin a relationship or so that they'll like you more.
While sometimes pleasing and loving might look the same the motivation behind them are very different, and because of that loving someone allows you to tell people hard and uncomfortable things, it lets you confront them and speak truth into their lives, because when you love someone your ultimate goal isn't to please them or make you happy with them. You're okay with them not liking you at the moment, because your ultimate desire is for their good and to help them to see and love God more!
I pray I that I seek to please people less, and love people more!
"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient bearing with one another in love."
-Ephesians 4:2
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